Hormones are no joke!

So, before I dive into hormones, etc., I just want to say this....

LADIES...YOU ROCK!

okay, now back to the originally scheduled post...

So, my husband and I are on the baby journey and while it's not exactly what we imagined, I think it fits us just perfectly. I'm on day 3 of injections getting ready for IVF and while for the most part it hasn't been bad, there are so definite side effects/symptoms/whatever from the hormones. First things first, let's talk about hot flashes. So you know how right around that time of the month you feel a bit hotter? Like body temperature is up and there NEVER seems to be enough air flow to cool you down? Well, imagine that happening when you're walking downhill in 60 degree weather (with a breeze!) with a tank top and jean jacket on. Oh and did I mention this is like the LEAST STRENUOUS PACE EVER? Yeah, so walking downhill and wanting to strip off all my clothes is pretty much where I'm at. Plus the random hot flashes at night when I'm trying to fall asleep and just in the middle of the night (i.e. beads of sweat on my back...ewwww!). It's bizarre, weird and reminds me that our bodies are pretty damn powerful and smart. Next! Let's see. I guess I could mention the bloating. So the shots I'm doing currently go right in the tummy. And while I've never been a skinny-ninny, if you ever wanted to feel what it's like to have a tire around your waist, the shots are the way to go. The strange thing is that for me, you don't really see it...I just feel it. It feels like I took some cotton and stuffed myself around the waist and yet when looking at myself, I still look the same (time will tell on that one though!). Other symptoms? Hmmmmm, insomnia. Now this one's tricky because I don't know if it's more of a mental thing or a medicine thing, but given that it really just started happening, I'm gonna lump it into a symptom. Others? I'm sure there are. I've noticed a slight headache everyday since I've started and while that could be a symptom, it also could be because I started cutting back on my caffeine intake...who knows! Otherwise though, I feel pretty good. And when the outcome of all of this is *fingers crossed* a happy, healthy baby, I seriously get SO EXCITED. Maybe it's all the hormones or maybe it's just because it's all finally happening, but nothing makes me more emotional nor excited than the thought of holding a little one in my arms. Oh, and pretty much the sight of any woman gets me all choked up. Like, I dunno what happened today when I was walking home, but all I could think about was how every single woman should be walking around high-fiving each other and being like, "WE GOT THIS!" I mean, WE GROW HUMANS INSIDE OF US...does it get any more powerful than that??????? And while I'm on the subject, I just gotta say this. If you ever find yourself in a fertility clinic, give those ladies there an extra big smile. Like, we all know why were there and while everyone's fertility story is different, I really don't know of any people who need a smile more. I think I might just start hugging them all, no?! haha, who knows. Anyway, that's a lil' update on where were at, how things are going and things I'm feeling. Stay tuned for more updates! much love..muah! 

Time flies, no?!

Hello, hello! So it's been, what, 4 years since I've posted here? Holy h*ll. Errrrr, time flies, no?! So let's see...where to begin? Well...4 years ago I moved to Colombia and 3 years ago I met an amazing man. We're now married, I became a stepmom and we're about to embark on our own parenthood adventure, too. It's awesome, scary, fun and crazy all at the same time! What else? Let's see. In June, I walked away from my job and while it was definitely the right decision, it also hasn't been quite as easy as I thought it might be. A friend recently told me that it probably felt a lot like a breakup and although I hadn't thought of it like that, they were 100% right. Walking away and re-establishing myself has come with all those familiar emotions of a breakup and while annoying and hard, I know I'm better because of it. Just in the last week or so, I feel like a fog has been lifted (plus I'm finally not sick...hooray!) and while I'm not exactly jumping out of bed in the morning (let's be real, waking up at 5am for the last 4 years ssssssssucked...let me have my mornings for a lil' bit, k?), I don't exactly feel like sobbing for no reason and/or curling up in bed all day anymore. Now don't get me wrong, I still like a good cry and I definitely am enjoying my time and if that means being in bed all day, so be it! But...I don't have that hole anymore. You know that hole? Ugh, that hole blowssssssssss. Buttttttt, like all wounds/holes/scrapes/bruises, a little time, a little love and a whole lotta chocolate makes 'em fade before your eyes. It's kind of amazing how that all works and while my 19-year-old self NEVER would have believed that (ugh, that first heartbreak is the worst, no?), it's totally true. So anyway...here I am. 31, unemployed (self-employed?), trying for a baby and while not grieving anymore, I'm also not sure that I'm totally clear on where I want to go or be. I've been reading a lot and have some ideas on jobs/companies I want to do, but as I sit in our apartment in Bogota, I find it hard to get motivated to make them happen. People keep telling me to pursue these ideas and do all the grunt work here while I have the time, but it's hard to do all of that when I have no idea where to begin. Logo? Slogan? Business plan? Legal stuff? Bleh! I dunno. But I do know that writing/journaling helps me get things flowing so while I may not know where I'm going, I'm going and that's what's important to me.